For kids, the beginning of the school year is a lot like starting a new job. For parents, our job is similar to being a manager. If we manage correctly, we can support our kids as they navigate their new "job" this year.

When I was a student at Cornell University, I was fortunate to take a course by the famous business management guru Ken Blanchard. His Situational Leadership Model states that your management style should be adjusted based on the situation of the employee, from new to experienced. In other words, vary levels of support and direction based on the level of confidence and competence of each employee.

This principle can be applied to parenting. As my son has started the new school year, I've been thinking about how I can continue to support him to set him up for success with his schoolwork, homework, and after school activities. Here are some ideas to adjust our parenting style as our kids work through the school year.

1) Beginning of the School Year: When school starts, our kids may not be very confident and lack all of the skills they need to succeed. As a result, provide them with a lot of support and direction. Stay connected to your kids and help them think through organizing homework and schedules. Sit with them as they do their homework and answer any questions. Talk with your kids about how things are going and how they’re feeling about school. Help them process the emotions that come with all these changes in schedule, friends, and activities changes, and be there to support them.

Also at the beginning of the year, we talked to our son about our expectations for homework and screen time. I've set up a homework station with workbooks and supplies so he has all his materials in one place and knows where to go to get started. In the next few weeks, I’ll be helping him stick to his homework schedule and planning after-school routines with him. As a bonus, we’re both practicing our negotiating skills as he tries to bargain for less handwriting practice if he had a writing assignment in school that day!

2) Middle of the School Year: As the middle of the school year arrives, your kids are more competent but still need help as they navigate roadblocks. At this stage, they may still need emotional support but can probably get by with less direction. Continue to have have conversations about how things are going in their academics, friendships, and other areas, and help them to problem-solve as issues come up. I find it useful to volunteer at school or spend time with my son and his friends so I can see first hand how he’s doing. For example, we’re going to have a monthly pizza night at our house with the neighborhood kids so they can stay connected, especially with some moving up to middle school this year. They can talk about school, share experiences, and learn from each other. 

3) End of the School Year: As our kids become more confident and competent at school and establish routines, they will need less direction and support. Touch base with them from time to time and ask them if they need assistance with something. Help them develop their skills by letting them be independent while supporting them as needed. If they’re on a semester program where their classes change, you may need to help them through that transition. However, at this point they should already have a process for getting work done. 

Don’t Be a Seagull Parent

Ken Blanchard also warns against being a seagull manager in his 1985 book, Leadership and the One Minute Manager. He states that “Seagull managers fly in, make a lot of noise, dump on everyone, then fly out.” In other words, that they only get involved when they think there’s a problem. 

Don’t be a seagull parent. Instead, be like a goose that flies in a V formation with the rest of the flock. This positioning allows each goose to see the others so they don’t crash into each other or get lost. The geese also follow the leader at the front of the V so they all go in the right direction.

Children need this kind of parenting. They need someone to fly with them, teach them how to fly themselves, and show them where to go, rather than just criticizing when something goes wrong. With school in session, we can fly closely next to our kids – especially at the beginning – to help them make the right moves and go in the right direction. We can set clear expectations and communicate often while guiding them. This will help them start off strong and stay on course. As they progress through the school year, we can fly a little further away and let them practice on their own. With time, we can let them take the lead and show the rest of us where to go. That is the ultimate goal of a parent: to equip our kids to successfully navigate the world on their own. In the meantime, let’s guide them appropriately along the way.

Hilary Kinney is the author of Project Management for Parents, a timeless book that provides resources for busy parents to streamline life at home. She is a certified Professional Project Manager with 17 years of experience at a Fortune 500 company.